Musc 4 Harsh Criticism

First of all, I have to apologise to my fellow students and Peter G for the lack of blogs throughout both semesters. As my final blog for my musculo placement, I thought I’d try and reflect on my biggest learning experience so far this year. This has taken me most of the year to think back upon, digest and finally accept it in a way I can discuss it, hence why it is so late. I really underwent a hard time with my supervisor. I wouldn’t even call it a personality clash, simply a learning style clash. With a lot of other external factors in the mix, for sure. I’ve discussed some of the difficulties I’ve had on this placement in a previous blog.

Firstly, I think the first impression my fellow student and I made on him may have had something to do with it. Maybe he’s just not down with 2 outgoing, cheerful girls, and we may have seemed like airheads to him. The prac unfolded such that both the other student and I felt we were on the receiving end of some slightly hurtful remarks and eye-rolling to our apparent lack of knowledge.

My frustration developed further by other factors such as the very structure of the placement. Time, or lack thereof, was a MASSIVE issue. With so many patients being seen and very little time to reflect on anything learned, or NOT properly learned, blogging became a real nightmare. The 4 to 1 student:supervisor ratio felt very restrictive. I felt like I wasn’t given the support I required for my learning. I fully admit that I was confused a lot of the time (from a musculo knowledge point of view) and have discovered I’m actually not the strong musculo student I thought I was. I felt like reflection was impossible.

At my final Ax with him, I was told that my first week was disastrous and that I looked like I hadn’t studied at all for the prac. I was left feeling really angered at this. First of all, if anyone knows me: so not true. Admittedly, I may not be a strong student and I do think on reflection that I hadn’t prepared the RIGHT things. But I prepared as I thought was necessary and it wasn’t for lack of trying. But really the issue for me was: what does one gain from telling a student that?? I wasn’t left inspired to “redeem” myself and study my butt off. HE doesn’t even really win anything by telling me that.

What I learned from this? Unfortunately, not all the positive ending we all hope for. I walked away from my musculo placement with overwhelming relief that it was over, a massive sense of incompetence in musculoskeletal physiotherapy and a whopping blow to the self-esteem. I guess one positive thing I took away from the experience was my need to work on dealing with tough situations and not get put down by comments at times when I feel frustrated. I wholeheartedly wish I could undergo my musculo placement with this insight and be left with a more positive perspective of musculo. My reduced self-confidence in dealing with supervisors is apparent and has been remarked upon by my current supervisor. As she quite rightly brought up, people are going to be more than happy to criticize us along our career, and sometimes it will feel unfair or not very insightful. I’m glad I had this early exposure to it, and can learn to not let it affect me so much once I’m a graduate.